By The Rally Monkey!

It’s not been a great season thus far. And it can really start to make us all feel like we are worse off than most. Well, I have decided to compile a list of things I think might actually be worse than being in last place. Enjoy.

10.) Throwing away the winning lotto ticket

Yes, it’s happened more than you’d like to think. You tell your boss you won’t be coming in again… Ever! You break up with your girlfriend. Start thinking of all the great things you’ll now own! Then imagine losing the one and only piece of paper that proves you are in fact a multi-millionaire. Now that’s heartbreaking! Especially when your boss only hires you back as part-time help.

9.) Being the director of the motion picture, Pootie Tang 

When you have to spend 81 minutes listening to Wanda Sykes speak. Not sure there is anything worse! Awe! But actually there is. In fact eight of them!

8.) Crashing the Titanic

What do you put on your resume after you’ve crash the world’s largest ‘unsinkable ship’? I’m not sure. But after the events of 1912, I’m guessing the ship’s captain, ‘Edward J. Smith‘ will never have to answer that question. And you’d think that disaster would be enough. But no! Then director James Cameron would bring us another disaster known as the 3 hour movie Titanic! “Wake me up when it’s over!!!”

7.) Cop Rock
Yes, before Glee (and don’t ask me how I know about Glee) there was Cop Rock! It was an 80′s half hour musical drama created by Steven Bochco that features cops and robbers singing and dancing their hearts out! If you don’t remember it, that’s ok. Cop Rock did for television what Justin Bieber did for Neurosurgery!

6.) Windows Vista
What can I say that hasn’t already been said about Windows Vista. When computers stores offer to sell you new PC’s with the enticement that they will downgrade your Vista machine back to XP, you know you got hosed!

5.) Jar Jar Binks
George Lucas will forever be known as a genius for creating Star Wars, and a moron for creating Jar Jar Binks! I’m not sure where the inspiration came for this unnecessary and ridiculously unfunny character but it had no origin in humor.

4.) Kathy Griffin
Enough Said!

3.) The New Kids on the Block Reunion
Before Jar Jar Binks and Justin Bieber there were ‘The New Kids on the Block’. Marketed to girls ages 8-9. Not sure who’s idea the reunion was, but my guess is it had something to do with the Titanic not being available to drive into an iceberg.

2.) Having to wear the Oakland A’s uniform
Sure they’re having a pretty good start this season. But how do you work up the courage to dress yourself in their God-awful uniforms! I mean who picks these hideous colors for this team, The Braille Institute? I contend the real reason folks stay away from the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum are these ridiculously awful costumes the Oakland A’s call uniforms.

1.) Rally Rags (or towel)
Yes, I said it! Two words that most certainly do not go together. Rally and Rag (or towel). These have no useful purpose. What exactly are they suppose to accomplish? You twirl them in the air? Ok. But they make no noise? They just make you cold. And it’s a towel for God’s sake! Sure everyone loves a good rally, but at the expense of one’s own self-respect? I think not. Now a Thunder Stick! That’s got bang!! Even the name is intimidating! It’s got ‘thunder’ and ‘stick’! Two things that cause even Chuck Norris to wince!

So cheer up fans. I know things are pretty bleak at the moment but let’s be grateful we are not associated with any of the above!

Rally Monkey!

By The Rally Monkey

The Angels are in last place. It’s most certainly not where fans or myself had hoped to find our team at this point in the season. So much hope. So much promise. So much nachos!

Many fans are beginning to share their frustration, fears, hopelessness and a few inappropriate photos (thanks TwitPic). I can’t begrudge most of them. It is starting to feel like we’re the baseball version of ‘The Biggest Loser‘, or the Fox TV show, Ben and Kate (cancelled way too soon). Let’s face it, nobody likes to lose. Especially a Rally Monkey. But we can’t lose hope just yet! If history has taught us anything, it’s that it’s made up mostly of things that happened in the past. And it has also taught us that ‘the comeback’ can sometimes be just as sweet as the victory it achieves.

Ask yourself, what is a great sports story, or any story for that matter without a great comeback. Some of the greatest moments in sports, both in the real world and in the fictional one have only been eclipsed by the epic climb it took to get to the top. Imagine if the story of down on his luck, boxer Rocky Balboa had simply been the tale about just another number one contender fighting the champ. And not the story of a hundred to one shot underdog ultimately going the distance. ***Spoiler Alert*** Rocky looses the fight. But he wins something even greater, his self respect, and the respect of the fans. He loses the first fight with the champ but he ultimately comes back and wins the rematch and  the championship in the sequel. I mean you gotta love a good sequel, right?! But you do have to know when to stop! Just saying!

Or what if in 2002 we didn’t have the Angels epic comeback where they were only eight outs away from losing the World Series to the San Francisco Giants. And having to overcome a five-run, seventh inning deficit.

No one disagrees that being number one is a nicer place to be than number two. Or number five if we’re being accurate. But ‘starting from zero, you got nothing to lose’! (thanks Tracy Chapman, Fast Car). And being in last place forces one to have to dig deeper, and fight harder if one really wants to win. That includes us as fans as well.

We as fans also need to understand that we have our own heavy responsibilities. If we define a fan as someone who simply shows up to games only cheer on a winning team. Well, we have four other teams for you to choose from at the moment. But it has to be deeper than that.

Now lots of folks hate cliches. Especially when they only serve to mask the problem. I don’t mind them. In fact sometimes they can be very enlightening. One that comes to mind is the old, ‘there is no I in team’ (thank you cliche #1). Well, there is no ‘I’ in team. There is also no Q or Z  or a whole bunch of other letters. But you get the point. It’s all about the team and not about the me or the I!

Maybe for us, we are used to winning. The Angels have won eight division titles. Five of those division titles in the last decade. Now that’s not too shabby. Our stadium is always filled and our fans are always on fire! We like winning and don’t like folks calling our Angels a third rate ball club. Well, we’re not a third rate ball club. They are MY Angels win or lose. The fact is, this team has some great players. Sure the mojo isn’t quite right at the moment. Sometimes it only takes a rally. But we can’t lose hope. We’re Angels fans! We must persevere!

“It’s still early” (thank you cliche #2). So let’s get busy! It’s time to unleash the Angels we all know and love!

The bottom line is, we have the team and the talent to ultimately turn this around. I have no doubt. And maybe if our Angels knew we believed in them, even during these dark times. Maybe they just might start believing in themselves.

Sincerely,
Rally Monkey

ESPN.com news services
Updated: December 13, 2012, 2:52 PM ET 

Josh Hamilton is going from the Texas Rangers to the rival Los Angeles Angels.

Rangers general manager Jon Daniels confirmed Thursday that Hamilton agreed to a contract with the Angels. Multiple sources have confirmed to ESPN that the deal is worth $125 million over five years.

Texas had hoped to re-sign Hamilton, the 2010 AL Most Valuable Player. Speaking Thursday after a Rangers’ holiday luncheon, Daniels was asked whether Hamilton had agreed with the Angels.

Daniels said “that’s accurate” and that he had just been informed by Hamilton’s agent.

Hamilton’s camp had also reportedly met with the Seattle Mariners last week at baseball’s winter meetings.

Hamilton, 31, has batted .304 in his big-league career, all but 90 games of it in Texas. He has provided big power in the middle of the Rangers’ lineup, helping the team to World Series appearances in 2010 and ’11.

[Read Full Story]

By Jessica Grey – AngelsWin.com Feature Writer

I have a loyalty problem.

My issue isn’t that I lack loyalty. I have buckets of it. Sometimes, maybe, I have a bit too much loyalty. Case in point, my first job as a teenager was for KB Toys. It wasn’t until two years ago that I could even bring myself to step into a Toys R Us. Even then I felt a nagging sense of betrayal and KB Toys had been out of business for a full year.

Most baseball fans are pretty darn loyal. Angels fans sure are! Of course, we are first and foremost, supporters of our team, but we all have favorite players. When a favorite player gets traded, or chooses another team during free agency (or doesn’t get their option picked up), it can be stressful and upsetting.

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NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Mike Trout was the best rookie in baseball, and his famous homer-robbing catch was the greatest of the year.

That, according to MLB.com’s Greatness In Baseball Yearly Awards.

Trout, the Angels’ dynamic 21-year-old, was named the recipient of two GIBBYs at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel, site of the Winter Meetings, on Tuesday, for MLB Rookie of the Year and MLB Play of the Year.

The play came on June 27 at Oriole Park, where Trout catapulted off the rubberized tarp in center field and stretched his left arm about five feet over the fence to somehow take a home run away from J.J. Hardy.

Trout, the American League’s Rookie of the Month for four straight months, was an easy selection as baseball’s best rookie. But like with the Baseball Writers’ Association of America’s American League MVP Award, he lost out to Triple Crown winner Miguel Cabrera for the MVP GIBBY.

The Braves looked at Tommy Hanson and saw $5 million they could better spend elsewhere.

The Angels looked, and saw a bargain.

So when the Braves offered to trade them Hanson for hard-throwing reliever Jordan Walden, the Angels jumped at the chance. The deal was completed Friday.

So which team is right about Hanson?

It’s possible they both are, if the Braves are able to turn that money into the leadoff hitter they still need, and if Hanson is able to slot in behind Jered Weaver and C.J. Wilson as the Angels’ third starter.

The Angels had big needs in the rotation, with Ervin Santana traded, Dan Haren’s option declined and Zack Greinke very likely to head elsewhere as a free agent. They had big needs, but probably not the big money it would take to chase Greinke or a high-profile free agent replacement.

Hanson is arbitration-eligible for the first time, and he’ll likely make somewhere around $4.5 million or $5 million in 2013.

[Read Full Story]